A Lawyer by all means

Today I had a Mediation Meeting at Court.

It was good but it was that moment where I saw myself changing. I really became a lawyer by all means.

Here's the thing...

I wanted to become a lawyer for the sake of justice. I wanted to be nice, protect people and defend. I also consider myself an emotional person - could be affected pretty easily from anything. I also tend to believe people more than have doubts and suspicions.

That is who I am. Or actually I guess that's who I was.

I am a lawyer for 9 months now. I can see that I had grown and learnt a lot by practicing law.

The case was about Labor Law and Employees Rights. We represent the defendant in that case which is the employer. 
At the Mediation meeting, the woman which was the employee started to cry. She began explaining her rights and how our client didn't pay what he had to and all the things she should have gotten. She was looking me in the eyes, swearing and crying so hard. I kept telling her no, you got what you should get and I just didn't care she was crying that much. Wasn't affected at all.
The Mediator said he would lean more to her since she looked honest and most likely to has been exploited. The Mediator looked at me and said "you lawyers don't care about people and rights. All you care about is money." He said "I will write a decision now as you want but I won't feel good about it or content with myself. You however don't look for right, wrong or good. All you look for is your pocket."

His words shocked me! The Mediator was talking to me! All the things he said was referring to me. I immediately replied to him saying "My client is not with us today, sir. I know the woman was crying and swearing, but my client did the same. He too was crying and swearing that he paid her every cent and more. To us my client was honest just like this woman seems. Not me nor you nor her lawyer know the truth or what really happened. Maybe all she is doing is acting because she wants money. Maybe what she is saying is not true. The fact she was crying doesn't mean anything. To me, my client is honest as well and he said he paid her everything."

The mediator looked at me without saying a word. I continued "What we know is what we see on papers. Being a good actor should not affect our work. This is not about money or not looking for justice. this is about not really knowing the truth. Because both sides, to their lawyers, seem honest."
The Mediator quietly said "True."

I convinced him. I felt proud.

One time back when I was just a trainee lawyer in court, a man managed to convince me about something that was completely lies. He acted pretty well and made me feel sorry for him so he can get what he wants. He was only making up stories and was a good actor. I did lean for him and believed him.
That moment when I realized he had fooled me, made me realize why lawyers are suspicious all the time and doubt everybody. I realized that I shouldn't be fooled again. I decided since to put my feelings aside, know that the truth is not really out there and focus on my client's needs only.

I haven't really thought about all that, till my reply to the Mediator.

Life gives you lessons.

I only hope to stay humble and make justice. I am learning how my job works... But I would never want it to change me from being a human being.