Two years ago, after I finished my Masters degree and began a lifestyle of routine between home and work, I felt down. I thought all my ambition had ended because I had accomplished everything I wanted.
I thought all I have left to do now, is get better at my job, look for a raise, get married and have a family.
However, it still wasn't it for me.
I couldn't ignore the feeling of emptiness that I had, of something missing. I needed more than just the random things in life, that will eventually happen. I needed to look up for something more, in life, to achieve, for myself.
It's not a dream to have a family. Of course I want to have a family of my own, but also, to be a woman, a wife, a mother, with a career.
I did get a raise, I am good at my job, I did get married.
My husband and I are now working on the house we purchased, it needs some renovations.
After that, we plan to have children.
I think life in general is adventuress. There are always new things happening; things to work on, do and have. Therefor, there are always hopes and dreams.
I love my job. Especially to appear in courts.
Every other day I have a court hearing, and I am good at it.
I feel I am so confident and ready, to be independent.
I dream to have my own Law firm. To be the boss in a beautifully designed law firm office. To be the one who goes to all court hearings, and to have employees and lawyers that do all the work at the office.
I was happy and contented to dream. To once again have an ambition. To look forward to something and work on it.
When I was about to get married, I looked for dresses and cloth, and met dressmakers. I saw myself gathering ideas, collecting pictures, mixing and putting things together, and I wished I could make my own clothes and dresses.
Two friends of mine went to sewing classes.
I thought this is what I want too! Next to my job as a lawyer, I'll do it after noon and in the weekends, for myself.
The classes are expensive. So meanwhile, I'm keeping it as an idea, until I am sure I have the time for it.
So if you ask me about my future plans and where do I see myself in the next five years, I'd say a boss at my Law Firm. And in the next years, when I am old and too tired to run around at courts as much as today, I will be a dressmaker. A designer of my own brand. I'll name my brand Mooly :)
It gets boring and dull to look always good and the same.
You get used to your look and it won't get exciting anymore. And so, you decide to change something or become more beautiful, and so you do more things and get yourself into that loop of doing more and more, and it won't end until you become really ugly and die.
Plastic surgery is addictive. Usually, it starts with a nose job or breast enhancement. Then after that, you may want to change another thing, an eyebrows lift maybe, or a Botox injection.
Also, getting tattoos is addictive. Once you get one done you'd want more, until all your body is all covered and it becomes too late to regret when you're older.
Maybe because it gets dull to always see the same drawings on your skin, you decide to do more and more.
Don't ruin your body. Be smart with everything you do.
Get less permanent things.
Also when you get your nails done, with Acrylic or Gel or whatever... You get to waste money and get stuck with the same nail color all month. For what, really? It also damages your nails.
What about permanent makeup? Why to always look the same? It's not fun. There is a little beauty with a face without any makeup on. Why to lose the "Wow look" every time you get ready to a party or a night out.
Too much makeup is ugly. You become someone else. Not the same self anymore and with that, your behavior changes as well.
I really think it's useless, expensive and dull, to do all these beauty things.
From what I noticed, it usually starts with something small, that does make the person prettier, but the problem is, when it doesn't stop there, and the person decides to do more things, and then it gets to a point where it becomes really ugly.
So many things happened in 2017...
I was proposed to, got engaged, got married, went on honeymoon, became 30!!, moved out from my apartment in Haifa back to Nazareth, bought a house, bought birds and all of a sudden I am completely changed in just one year.
I wanted to write so many times but I was so busy that I didn't have the time to it, too tired and that's why I don't have posts.
But here is a little recap.
Becoming 30 years old was depressing to me, although it was supposed to be a good year for me.
I am the one who always thought that birthdays should be celebrated because of all the things that person went through all those years until that day, cherishing everything and making decisions and changes maybe for the upcoming years.
I finished 30 years on earth, after I met the love of my life, finished second degree in Law, got a stable job, became independent with life experiences, got engaged and was ready and about to get married on the same year.
However, I felt really bad on my birthday and I didn't celebrate. It was something about the number that I couldn't accept and until today, I can't find the reason for my feelings and behavior on my birthday.
Anyways, getting married was so exciting to me. I was overwhelmed.
I was so happy and sad at the same time because I was about to leave my family and get a new one.
It is a mixture of feelings that's hard to describe.
Marriage is something to work on. It makes two different people become one. It needs both sides to understand, work, have patience and love, for eachother.
It is wonderful when you realize that you are now Two and not One anymore.
By the way, you know me and how I love good dates- so my engagement party was on 17.2.17 and my wedding day was on 7.10.17. :)
