Being a Trainee Lawyer

When I was just starting my job as a trainee lawyer, I loved it so much. I loved everything about it, especially being out there in courts; wearing the suit, holding the files and standing up straight. Oh I loved that feeling. I felt powerful. 
I stood before people who were much older than me but yet so small. Amazing how they come TO ME for questions, they come TO ME worried and stressed out, they come TO ME for explanations; whatever I say or tell them, is the right thing for them. They listen TO ME.
It was a weird feeling at first because usually the younger listen to the older and ask them questions. The older are the ones who know things and they are "the more experienced".
Anyway, I wrote before all about how it was like for me working as a trainee; I definitely learned a lot out of that year. 
The other day in court, I came on behalf of the prosecutor. There was a man sitting there outside the court room. The man looked at me and asked me if I am representing X (I don't want to post names here) - apparently he was the defendant in that case. I said yes. He looked at me shocked a bit and said "But you look so nice!" I smiled half a smile. We were waiting outside the courtroom for the judge to call us in. We continued talking.

We talked about the case and about lawyers in general. He said lawyers only care for money and how to win. They don't care about anything else. He said "to become a lawyer you must have wickedness in your heart. You must be a bad person to practice law." "Did you hear what I said? Wickedness."
His words touched me. I am not a bad person. I had a whole different idea about this. I wanted to learn Law because it is life. It is around us all the time. We live in it. I wanted to know Laws and be aware of things; to not be fooled in this life. I wanted to be able to help people and be there for my family and friends. I wanted justice. 
After the talk with that man I started thinking. Would I be like that one day? Does law practice change people? Many said that they become with time emotionless by practicing law. This scares me because I don't want to be a bad person. 
One day I remember in court I felt so good when I "won" a case that wasn't easy. The case didn't have good evidence, but by talking to the other side I did convince him and made him pay the debt. It made me feel so good but in the other hand it wasn't really good what I did because deep down I knew it wasn't a just thing to do; if I didn't convince him like I did and relied only on the evidence, he would've won and not me. But the feeling that I did it, was so great!
So it does and may change people. Hopefully I'll be aware and won't let that happen to me.
However I must mention that as a trainee I had to do what the office wants and which cases my trainer gives me. It wasn't a choice to take that case. But  I admit it gave me a good feeling to win it even if it wasn't right. And that's what I'm talking about.